APPARENTLY I HAVE TO GIVE AWAY A CARIBBEAN VACATION TO STRANGERS NOW

I genuinely don't know how we got here.

A while back, I went to a charity auction and bought a four-night, all-inclusive Caribbean vacation for two.

And I didn't buy it for myself.

Because apparently, for one brief moment, I was trying to be a good father.

My plan was to give it to my son as a honeymoon present.

Great gift, right?

Four nights at an all-inclusive beachfront resort.

Caribbean.

Food.

Drinks.

Beach.

Sunshine.

Sitting somewhere tropical while other people bring you things.

Basically everything I've spent the last 47 years trying to achieve.

Except my son can't use it now.

Why?

Because he and his wife decided to have a baby in December.

So congratulations to them on creating my first grandchild while simultaneously wrecking my vacation-gifting strategy.

Fine.

I have another child.

So I offered it to my daughter.

SHE CAN'T GO EITHER.

Why?

Because she's already going on the Gen X Takeover Cruise.

Apparently my children have reached a socioeconomic level where you can offer them a FREE CARIBBEAN VACATION and they respond with:

"Ehhh… I don't think I can fit that into my schedule."

Must be nice.

So now I own a vacation that I purchased for charity, tried to give to my son, tried to give to my daughter, and I apparently cannot physically force anyone in my family to go to the Caribbean.

Which brings me to you.

STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET.

Congratulations.

You are now Plan C.

I'm giving the damn vacation away.

And here's what somebody is getting:

🌴 Four nights for TWO ADULTS

🏖️ An all-inclusive stay at a beachfront Caribbean resort

🌊 Multiple resort destinations to choose from, including Punta Cana, Cancun, and Riviera Maya, subject to availability

🍹 All-inclusive resort amenities and dining according to the package

☀️ White sand, blue water, palm trees and approximately four days of pretending your regular life doesn't exist

You can check out the actual HGA Vacations package here and see what you're potentially winning:

VIEW THE VACATION DETAILS:
HGA Vacations – Caribbean 4-Night All-Inclusive

Now for the part where the lawyers make me ruin the fantasy slightly.

Airfare is not included.

Neither are airport transfers, resort fees, local tourism/environmental taxes, or certain other local charges.

So, no, I'm not picking you up at your house, driving you to the airport, carrying your luggage, paying your taxes and personally escorting you to a lounge chair in Punta Cana.

I'm giving you the vacation.

I feel like that's a pretty solid contribution.

You also need to make your reservation far enough in advance, have a valid passport for international travel, follow HGA's reservation requirements, and use the certificate before June 23, 2027.

Now here's the ridiculous part:

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BUY ANYTHING.

Nothing.

No purchase necessary.

You don't have to buy a shirt.

You don't have to buy a coffee mug.

You don't have to join anything.

You don't have to send me $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

You don't even have to pretend you've been meaning to buy something from my website for the last six months.

Just enter.

That's it.

We're going to accept entries through the website, and on November 15, 2026, one eligible entry is getting picked at random.

And that person gets the vacation.

For free.

Because apparently I have finally reached the stage of life where I'm standing on the internet yelling:

“WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TAKE THIS CARIBBEAN VACATION?”

So enter the sweepstakes.

If you win, I'll give you the certificate.

You book the trip.

You get yourself there.

You sit on the beach.

You order something frozen with an umbrella sticking out of it.

And every once in a while, while you're staring at the Caribbean, I'd appreciate it if you'd remember that you are only there because both of my children turned down a free vacation.

ENTER THE GIVEAWAY BELOW.

No purchase necessary. One winner. Drawing November 15, 2026. Vacation must be used before June 23, 2027. Airfare not included. See Official Rules for complete eligibility requirements, restrictions, exclusions, prize details, and terms.

Now please,

Take this thing!

Want to Find out more about this Giveaway? Click HERE